TRAVELOGUE – AWSY TOUR 2005

It all started with a couple of words of my friend Wajahat; ‘Ghoomne chalein?!’ I agreed immediately and we started looking for other guys to accompany us so that we could share the joys of the experience of traveling… ok ok… we needed others to share the expenditure. Either way, we found a couple of friends, Ammar and Yasir, willing to go and got ourselves tickets for the Karachi – Lahore train.

I remember we were in high spirits when we entered the station. Even our iron-like bags (we found them later to be so) seemed weightless. Exaggeration aside, it can be said that we were looking at the brighter side of things then. Well, the train got off on time and we unfolded our arrangements for the journey namely cards and books. Ah, ‘book’ is such a nice and vast word, you can use it to refer to documents from Noble prize winning literature classics to digests that publish ‘sleeping pill’ articles like this one. But then, if I wrote a literature classic I wouldn’t just call it a ‘book’; which actually means that ‘book’ is a word used as a disguise for low quality literature when it is not desirable to disclose the true nature of the ‘book’. You get the idea; we played cards and read ‘books’. I found the moving train to be a good place to get the approval of someone on something, one cannot help but nod.

By the time we reached Lahore, our bodies had undergone a dirt treatment while our minds had deviated slightly from their usual frame of reference. We got so used to being moving observers that everything at rest seemed to move. It was scary at first, because we couldn’t rely on a pillar for support, what if it moved! (Reading your mind… Can a person get any crazier?).

PINDI (IT STARTS...):

The ride to Pindi was uneventful except that it took us much longer than projected, which was a glimpse of the Pindi curse that was about to befall on us. The stay at Ammar’s Auntie’s place in Islamabad was one of the best things that happened to us during the tour, probably because we got to bathe after being on the verge of stinking and got to eat (a lot) after living on a few biscuits for a day. I bet Einstein came up with his theory of relativity after going through a similar experience.

As soon as we left Pindi to catch a bus for Swat, the curse was on us again. We were misguided and had to spend some considerable money on taxis before we actually reached our desired area. Times improved as soon as we left Pindi.

SWAT (COOL PLACE… LITERALLY):

The first thing that I looked for in Swat was cats and believe me, I didn’t find anything fantastic about the ‘Swat Cats’, I wonder what inspired that cartoon then. Anyway, we found a ‘Chacha’ whom we hired for a three day tour of the valleys of Swat and Kalam. His quiet nature and ’74 Corolla were good for our singing rituals and thin wallets. We stayed at PC (Park Continental) in Mangora whose manager was worth twice a look. His tummy had indefinite boundaries but you could clearly define his sub-tummies and chins. I can imagine how his kids must have learned to count.

We roamed around in Mangora and tried to admire the beauty of the river and trees and the overall greenery. Not that we haven’t seen trees, grass and water in Karachi, I believe it was just the abundance and placement of these things that created the element of awe in our minds.

MALAM JABBA (CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER):

We were on the road again next day, the destination being Malam Jabba. This is a picnic spot (as far as I could figure) with a few hotels surrounded by green mountains. One of these mountains (the easiest to climb) has been chosen for the installation of chair lifts. They were not working when we reached the spot so we decided to climb the mountain and then actually did it.

It was basically Ammar who took us to the top; he wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less. We took many stops on the way but were still exhausted when we finally made it. Climbing a mountain is like watching a movie whose ending you already know; even though you can stop any time, you tell yourself to go on a little more, just for the sake of it. The descent was faster and scarier because you’re gaining speed even when you’re trying to stop. A five square feet flat ground seemed like a camping area then. We couldn’t do much after that other than to find a hotel in Miandam and collapse on the beds.

MIANDAM (RELAX – THE TOWN SAYS):

The chilly night wouldn’t let us waste it. We got up to play cards (after watching some TV, that usually filled the times that I am not referring to in my narration) accompanied by sheesha and tea. The temperature, the hotel, the game, the environment and the waiter playing cards with us all created a feeling so uncanny that I felt like living another life having no memories whatsoever of my Karachi routine. Researchers and believers of reincarnation are welcome to contact me. The rest of the time we spent in arguing on the pronunciation of ‘Miandam’ (No results declared).

KALAM (A COMPLETE VALLEY):

Enroute Kalam , we visited a trout hatchery. Nothing much to tell except that they were uncountable and in all sizes and …stank. I wonder how much I could make if I sold French perfumes to those fishes (Reading your mind… Yes a person can get crazier).

Kalam is a beautiful valley, there a few hotels and a bazaar that is mostly tourist-oriented, all alongside River Kalam. We wandered around a bit after putting our ‘luggage’ in a hotel. When we came back to the hotel, we decided (unconsciously) to do something that we usually do in Karachi, so Wajahat and Ammar went to sleep while I and Yasir went out to play snooker. We benefited more eventually since the market was buzzing with people in the evening. We enjoyed, came back and went to sleep, skipping dinner (unintentionally).

Hunger awakened us early… around 3 am. To spend the time we took to our regular pastime, cards and sheesha. As the morning grew near, we decided to climb a small but steep mountain… wait that doesn’t sound right. To be more accurate, Ammar decided (or maybe he too did not decide and just did it) to go for it while we followed out of curiosity… ok ok … we followed to hide our cowardice. Yasir didn’t even bother to do that. He preferred looking at the scenery and people through his binoculars.

GLACIER (THE SEVEN DWARFS LET US IN TO MEET HER):

We were off to see the glacier after breakfast. But would Ammar just let us see it? Nope, he was halfway when we started thinking about climbing. My three friends made it to the top while I made a seat (of carefully assembled stones) about three-fourth of the way.. ok ok .. halfway. But its real hard to even walk on ice with normal sandals (Reading your mind… Yeah right, good excuse). We made a gun out of the ice and took pictures holding a big ice block over the head, symbolically representing man’s attraction towards violence and power, we did that unintentionally which perhaps why it came out to be pretty accurate. The glacier experience was overall very fine, again the ‘abundance’ of ice being the key factor and not just its existence.

On our way back to Swat, Wajahat and Yasir found that they had missed a few shops in the valley and stopped by them to pay their regular 15 minute (unfruitful) homage.

PINDI AGAIN (IT WAS CALLING US…):

The trip back to Pindi was not comfortable and neither clean. Imagine the face of a cartoon when a bomb blows up in his face, well we didn’t look like that… but were pretty close. The curse was on us as soon as we entered the city. Two of us got their stomachs upset while the other two stuck with upset of their minds. The place to stay had unspecifiable problems that eventually kept us awake almost till morning (the purpose of not specifying is that you imagine a positive reason). When I finally got to wash my face in the morning, it was like a glimpse of heaven (see my previous reference to Einstein’s theory). Ammar went to his Auntie in Islamabad while we started off for Murree.

MURREE (NOTHING DIFFERENT YET POPULAR):

Murree adds a couple more direction to one’s normal perception. In Murree, you are either going up or down… left and right aren’t that significant. The Mall Road proved to be a dreamland for Wajahat and Yasir as there is an endless line of shops on both sides. This time they had to cut down on the 15 minute routine but they tried their best not to leave any shop unvisited. We had ice cream again and again almost as if it were made of ‘holy’ milk. We had an extravagant lunch and a humble dinner (what do you expect us to eat after having lost half our money on lunch… stupid Biryani).

Although a couple of churches stand tall among the shops of Mall Road, they weren’t high enough in hospitality to grant us permission to enter. Murree is good for your calves (as in body part) but bad for your wallet. I enjoyed every moment (except the part when my friends took both the blankets and left me bed less and blanket less… but its not a nice thing to mention that, right?

The events on the way back to Lahore were unanticipated. For some reasons, the three of us were the only passengers in a 52-seater Coaster. We celebrated the abundance of space till we reached Pindi and then (as previous Pindi encounters had affected us) the space became our own enemy. The bus was taken to a Pindi ‘Lari Adda’ because Jehanzeb, the owner of the bus needed passengers for Lahore so that he could make up for the loss. After a small argument, the bus ‘made’ to go to Lahore through the ‘Motor Way’ (imagine the power of three).

LAHORE (OSTENTATIOUS.. MORE THAN ORIGINAL):

We arrived at Lahore in the evening, said farewell to (who was now) Wajahat’s friend Jehanzeb (proof available in pictures). We found a hotel in front of ‘Daata Darbar’ and left immediately to meet our good friend Sohaib. In his goodness, he took us to National Bank Park, a place where you can skate, smoke, have sheesha, play snooker and golf and have quality food if you are rich. Otherwise, you can spend a little money and watch rich people do those things. We had dinner in a so called restaurant in the park whose waiter had all sorts of problems with my opinions about his place, he asked for it (by giving me an opinion card to fill). Sheesha was on Sohaib (payment as well as itself).

We visited the Daata Darbar then and saw and heard all kinds of praises and homage paid to the saint (disagreements aside). What surprised me most was the number of people sleeping inside the premises, it looked as if they had just fallen and gone to sleep, resembling my imagination of ‘Qayamat’. We also sat by a ‘Baba’ who was giving lectures and solving problems of people as they came and kissed his hands. I wonder (yeah, I know you’re tired of my wondering) if any saint acted like that.

Next day we went to the Lahore Fort. Again, it was the ‘abundance’ of the architecture and the enormity of the buildings that fascinated me. The ‘Deewan e Aam’, ‘Sheesh Mahal’, ‘Khwab Gah’ etc. led me to a thought that the vastness of a person’s mind and the place where he lives are inversely related. All in all, it took us more than an hour and many bottles of water to explore the fort.

Food street was our next target. Nothing much to described except the dimensions of the glass of lassi we had. It even seemed to have the fourth dimension of time because it just wouldn’t finish, either that or the glass had secret compartments filled with more lassi !
(Reading your mind… Can a person get any stupider?).

Although Wajahat wanted to go to sleep (duhh… didn’t need to mention that), we voted in majority for the zoo. The zoo was incredible, the animals were well fed and their habitat was maintained, but there still seemed to be a hint of sadness in the eye of every animal, perhaps because freedom has no replacement. The hippo and rhino were much bigger than we expected, I guess because all they did was eat and sleep. I’m sure they would gain a few more pounds if a TV is installed in their habitat. The tigers and monkeys were worth a sight too although they were indifferent to the constant staring of people… (wow.. a thought just struck me... poor girls).

We made a short stop at ‘Fortress’ which is a shopping street with a few eating places and well established boutiques. I was relieved to find most the shops close or else Wajahat and Yasir would have made it their Las Vegas and would have lost whatever money was left.

HOME SWEET HOME (NO IT’S NOT MADE OF CHOCOLATE):

Saying adieu to Sohaib and meeting Ammar at the hotel were the last things we did before getting on our train for home. This time the train ride was different, we were experienced and knew exactly what to do, so we slept like logs and when I couldn’t sleep I counted the things my friends had bought instead of sheep. We were back home in 9 days carrying with us much more than we took… no no I meant memories this time.