Uncertainty VS Definiteness

In any game or sport, the most enjoyed matches are those that are close and it is very difficult to predict the result of the match until the very end. Closer the match, greater is the excitement. It is the factor of uncertainty that makes it enjoyable. Few people like to watch a game whose result is already known or even a one-sided game.
Taking another example, in any business, the most relieved businessman is the one who knows how much he will make the next day, week or month. The more accurate his projection is, the more relieved is he. Those who are unsure of how much they would sell or would sell at all are the ones with the greatly disturbed minds. It is the factor of definiteness that aids mental comfort for most.
Uncertainty and definiteness are simply measures of probability for any event to occur or it is the measure of surety of any existing information as experienced by any particular individual or set of individuals.
Uncertainty and definiteness are two sides of the same coin. If there is 75% uncertainty for a thing to occur then its definiteness is 25%, so they are both different expressions of the same information. The need for using these two expressions arises from the need of emphasizing on one aspect, either uncertainty or definiteness, of any information or projection. It means that sometimes it is beneficial to analyze the uncertainty and sometimes to concentrate on the definiteness.
Knowledge (or definiteness) is considered God’s greatest gift to man, uncertainty is an equally great gift. The reason can be understood by considering man’s grandest faculties, remembrance and evolution.
Remembrance is the key to self exploration. When God breathed His soul into man, He gifted us all the knowledge of the heavens and the earth that we needed by He also gifted us ‘oblivion’. A good part of man’s journey on earth is the remembrance of his own self. This feat, all masters agree, requires keen contemplation of the nature of man and life, a stillness that takes one deep into the abyss of his magical being. Such a serene and composed approach requires definiteness in belief and faith and a resoluteness to keep walking towards the destination.
Evolution is not just man’s purpose in life, but also his calling, his instinctive tendency. To evolve is to disclose, to develop or to explore. Man finds a great sense of achievement in exploration and discovery. Man evolves individually and collectively as a nation, race and ultimately as a specie. In every case, it is the uncertainty in one’s mind that takes him ‘out of the way’ and helps him to explore new grounds. It is the uncertainty of theories of science that has enabled scientists throughout history to come up with improved theories and inventions.
Thus, man’s journey in life, his conduct, achievements and recreation depend on the uncertainty and definiteness of everything in his life. Let’s look at some direct influences of the two factors in our lives.
Definiteness is that which keeps one going in a direction eventually leading him to success or mastery. Definiteness is also the source of comfort, confidence, trust and similar faculties. A student confidently gives answers to the teacher when she knows that she is correct. A person makes big decisions easily when he knows for sure that people will back him up and things will turn out all right. This surety enables him to trust life.
Uncertainty is that which expands one’s vision and ignites his urge to explore. Uncertainty is also the source of excitement, gratitude, love, acceptance and similar faculties. A person feels gratitude when he gets something he didn’t expect or something he wasn’t sure of getting and thus does take it for granted. When we love a person, we are never certain of exactly how much and in what way the other person loves us. It is this uncertainty that makes us explore new ways of loving that person and also varying our way of loving. This eventually helps both to understand different aspects of love and also in the growth of love, since ‘what does not grow; dies’.
Once we understand the nature, advantages and specialties of the two factors and become aware of them in our selves, we can apply them in every walk of life for incredible results.

USAGE:
Like in everything else, awareness of the two factors in the key to control and use them. Two good ways of usage include:
Acquiring definiteness;
Accepting uncertainty.
Maximum efficiency is achieved when both are kept in balance.

Acquiring definiteness:

It is a healthy activity to measure the knowledge and definiteness of the procedure of performing a task or dealing with a situation before actually starting to work on it. It adds to the health if one is aware of the available and the required or desired knowledge. Efforts can then be made to acquire more knowledge if necessary or if there is ample knowledge; energy can be put into other areas of the task.

Accepting uncertainty:
Even the surest of methods are not perfect. There is almost always a factor of uncertainty that encompasses possibilities of improvement (by addition or amendments) or application of a completely different approach to the problem. When we accept that our method (the one we follow) is not perfect, we open ourselves to those possibilities and are likely to keep our eyes open for new discoveries and seek alternatives.

These two aspects of looking at a problem help one to perform a task efficiently or deal with a situation effectively and also learn and expand one’s vision and experience. Furthermore, this approach can be applied to the simplest and the most complex of problems. For example, it is easy to forgive somebody when you tell yourself that you are not certain that the mistake was made deliberately or that the intention was what it seemed. Science and religion would not have developed if scholars wouldn’t have doubted the correctness of the ancestral viewpoints.
So, coming from this approach it is helpful when dealing with all kinds of problems, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual but only when it its applied with awareness and a touch of wisdom.

Kyoon?

Maharat hai har kaam mein mere
Phir nakami ka ehsaas hai kyoon

Kehta hoon khud ko Khuda ka banda
Jaam e ishq ki pyaas hai kyoon

Mohabbat ka izhar us ka suboot to nahi
Sub kho dene ka iltimaas hai kyoon

Arse se hoon apni uljhanon ka qaidi
Azadi ki umeed, roshni ki aas hai kyoon

Woh dekh nahi sakte meri soch ki aankh se
Phir dunya ki baaton ka paas hai kyoon

Jeene ke falsafe se waqif hoon agar
Zindagi mein zindagi ka aflaas hai kyoon

FREEDOM VS GOODNESS

I always wondered why people tend to say ‘I am bad’ much more than ‘I am good’. When I looked into the matter, I observed that people often say such things when they are confused in making a decision about doing something. The confusion arises from one or more conflicts in the mind. Usually the war is between the natural prompts of a person and the acquired beliefs in the subconscious mind. Natural prompts are the feelings, intuition or instinctive calling that direct towards the healthiest choice or choices. Beliefs are mental statements that form or deform continuously as analysis of any particular person, place, object etc or their combinations is carried out by the mind.

Questions arise. Which wins? Why does it win?

There is no rule about who wins in a particular situation; it depends much on choice making capability and power of will. The choice made on the basis of beliefs often leads to expected outcomes while the one made following a natural prompt (with or without reasoning) opens the door to new and uncertain results.

The fear of uncertainty or the insecurity phobia makes us choose the easier or projected path and for that we often need to suppress (consciously or not consciously) our natural prompts.

Question: What’s wrong with that?

If an animal is kept in the home, fed and paid attention, it is tamed into a friendly and useful companion. But if it is put into a cage, fed improperly and beaten, it would become a raging beast ready to pounce on anyone whenever it would get a chance. Similarly human nature cannot be suppressed for long, prompts become urges that sum up to become temptations and finally these temptations explode in the distorted form of frustration and aggression resulting in bizarre action and finally becoming addictions. The simplest example would be violence and sexual abuse all over the world.

The trick is to listen to the natural prompts that are feelings and combine them with reasoning based on past experiences and beliefs to make a choice that would be morally appropriate and would also help one to explore new aspects of life. This is what ‘Goodness’ is; making choices that help Life (people, events, experiences) to be, grow and prosper. ‘Freedom’ is the fundamental faculty of the human being that makes one possible to be ‘good’. Hence freedom has a higher value that goodness because goodness comes from ‘freedom wisely expressed and experienced’.

Mein Kya Karoon

Sawab ka mein karoon kya aur gunah ka mein kya karoon
Maqsad hai mera bekhudi to is jaza ka mein kya karoon.

Mein ne paya hai jub har shai mein tujh hi ko
Bata de mujhe phir masjid ka mein kya karoon

Banaya nahi khuda ne arsh par, magar insa’n ne zamee’n par
Is barhte huay jalte huay doazakh ka mein kya karoon

Darja mujhe mile fatwon ko jaan kar
Par tujh ko jaane baghair mili is behisht ka mein kya karoon

Milta hai sukooo’n milti hai khushi bus teri hi yaad mein
Kuch aur nahi bhata mujhe is yaaddasht ka mein kya karoon

Nazar aate ho usi jalal mein ghurbat o saadgi mein
Jo bhula de An-Al-Haq ko us dolat ka mein kya karoon

Chala tha sumujh kar ke manzil khuda hai
Mil gaya raah mein tu, teri is ada ka mein kya karoon

Sunta hoon buhat ghour se ke teri awaz sunoo’n
Milti hai apni awaz mein teri awaz mein kya karoon

Bheje tu ne rasool, hum ne yaad kya un ka paigham
Bhool gaye par tujh ko, is silsile ka mein kya karoon

Uthata hoon qalam to rukte nahi khayalat
Rokta hai bus zamana magar in jazbat ka mein kya karoon

Parhe ga jo shakhs bhi is nazm ko meri
Matha peete ga aur soche ga is deewane ka mein kya karoon

I am not who I think I am

Thinking is basically an analysis which is based on how one perceives and believes thing to be and self perception is not an exception to that. Through perceptions about ourselves, that is how we believe we act and what words we use and other data constitute an image of ourselves in or own eyes. These perceptions ‘seep’ down into our belief system creating or changing beliefs which affect our actions, thoughts and words. These make up the data being perceived about ourselves and so the circle is complete.

There is not a specific point where the process starts or ends, it is continuous in nature. Perceptions building up an image that forms beliefs that are the cause of action, thoughts and words that constitute the information needed for self perception. This cycle is UNCONSCIOUS or lacking awareness. This means that the process is automatic and does not involve conscious choice making.

Question: What’s the harm in that?

Let’s consider an example. A runner in a marathon strives hard to win but loses by a margin of seconds. She feels disappointed in herself and angry. She is also terribly sad because she ‘believes’ that she sis supposed to be sad as this is the normal reaction of a loser. Other beliefs like;
‘Who does not win and get the first place loses and losers are supposed to be ashamed of themselves’,
‘One is more loved when one has achieved something and most loved when he is at the top’, and
‘Results count, not efforts’,
tell her to feel bad about herself and create a fear that she will be unloved. These disappointments and fears could reach to such an extent that she might resort to cheating next time she competes in something, desperation is born. Now what can awareness do to help?

Conscious choice making is about examining and intervening the cycle and introducing perceptions and beliefs consciously into it. She could choose to consciously tell herself any or all of these beliefs;
‘Someone has to lose, I did my best and that’s a win for me’,
‘I do not need a trophy to tell me I am good’,
‘Since I am good either way, I will always be loved’,
‘There is no competition’, and
‘Being at the top loses scope for improvement; it is the ebb and flow that makes learning possible’.

When she would introduce these beliefs that really a matter of perspective, she would come out with better actions and words and would feel good about herself eventually creating a nicer self perception. She would be inclined to have respect for the winner and would draw inspiration to improve. Note how she can use the same cycle, the same process to produce a very different outcome.

Question: In such situations, it is hard to remember these things or even focus on something. It’s easier to just let go and not think about it. Isn't that true?

Even though we think that we are not thinking about it, we are still thinking about it. The very thought that we should not think about it makes us unaware of the process and so we do the thinking in the ‘unconscious’ mode. The trick is to give it attention, to ask yourself, using introspection, why you are feeling the way you are, what is causing you to act that way or say those things. Trace back those actions and words to the beliefs they are coming from.

When you become aware of those beliefs, know that you are not your beliefs but in truth beliefs form from your choices, conscious or unconscious. Then introduce a belief, affirm it and tell it to yourself, a belief that works to improve and explore your talents and express your grandest vision about yourself. If you find introspection difficult, try retrospection. Look back at an event after it has occurred and examine how you felt or what you did and ask yourself why.

This conscious introduction in the cycle need not be at the belief level only, you can choose to change your perception or actions or words and produce the desired change in beliefs because it all goes in a cycle. Try to change ‘I don’t like rock music so I was dead bored during the concert’ to ‘I never liked rock music but I chose to enjoy the concert since I was already there. It wasn’t bad after all’.

The awareness of the working of this cycle and the habit of consciously using it to act and react in every situation, especially extreme ones, gives us the power to control our emotions and use our efforts in a beneficial way.
The key, then, is:

I AM NOT WHO I THINK I AM… I AM WHO I CHOOSE TO BE

TRAVELOGUE – AWSY TOUR 2005

It all started with a couple of words of my friend Wajahat; ‘Ghoomne chalein?!’ I agreed immediately and we started looking for other guys to accompany us so that we could share the joys of the experience of traveling… ok ok… we needed others to share the expenditure. Either way, we found a couple of friends, Ammar and Yasir, willing to go and got ourselves tickets for the Karachi – Lahore train.

I remember we were in high spirits when we entered the station. Even our iron-like bags (we found them later to be so) seemed weightless. Exaggeration aside, it can be said that we were looking at the brighter side of things then. Well, the train got off on time and we unfolded our arrangements for the journey namely cards and books. Ah, ‘book’ is such a nice and vast word, you can use it to refer to documents from Noble prize winning literature classics to digests that publish ‘sleeping pill’ articles like this one. But then, if I wrote a literature classic I wouldn’t just call it a ‘book’; which actually means that ‘book’ is a word used as a disguise for low quality literature when it is not desirable to disclose the true nature of the ‘book’. You get the idea; we played cards and read ‘books’. I found the moving train to be a good place to get the approval of someone on something, one cannot help but nod.

By the time we reached Lahore, our bodies had undergone a dirt treatment while our minds had deviated slightly from their usual frame of reference. We got so used to being moving observers that everything at rest seemed to move. It was scary at first, because we couldn’t rely on a pillar for support, what if it moved! (Reading your mind… Can a person get any crazier?).

PINDI (IT STARTS...):

The ride to Pindi was uneventful except that it took us much longer than projected, which was a glimpse of the Pindi curse that was about to befall on us. The stay at Ammar’s Auntie’s place in Islamabad was one of the best things that happened to us during the tour, probably because we got to bathe after being on the verge of stinking and got to eat (a lot) after living on a few biscuits for a day. I bet Einstein came up with his theory of relativity after going through a similar experience.

As soon as we left Pindi to catch a bus for Swat, the curse was on us again. We were misguided and had to spend some considerable money on taxis before we actually reached our desired area. Times improved as soon as we left Pindi.

SWAT (COOL PLACE… LITERALLY):

The first thing that I looked for in Swat was cats and believe me, I didn’t find anything fantastic about the ‘Swat Cats’, I wonder what inspired that cartoon then. Anyway, we found a ‘Chacha’ whom we hired for a three day tour of the valleys of Swat and Kalam. His quiet nature and ’74 Corolla were good for our singing rituals and thin wallets. We stayed at PC (Park Continental) in Mangora whose manager was worth twice a look. His tummy had indefinite boundaries but you could clearly define his sub-tummies and chins. I can imagine how his kids must have learned to count.

We roamed around in Mangora and tried to admire the beauty of the river and trees and the overall greenery. Not that we haven’t seen trees, grass and water in Karachi, I believe it was just the abundance and placement of these things that created the element of awe in our minds.

MALAM JABBA (CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER):

We were on the road again next day, the destination being Malam Jabba. This is a picnic spot (as far as I could figure) with a few hotels surrounded by green mountains. One of these mountains (the easiest to climb) has been chosen for the installation of chair lifts. They were not working when we reached the spot so we decided to climb the mountain and then actually did it.

It was basically Ammar who took us to the top; he wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less. We took many stops on the way but were still exhausted when we finally made it. Climbing a mountain is like watching a movie whose ending you already know; even though you can stop any time, you tell yourself to go on a little more, just for the sake of it. The descent was faster and scarier because you’re gaining speed even when you’re trying to stop. A five square feet flat ground seemed like a camping area then. We couldn’t do much after that other than to find a hotel in Miandam and collapse on the beds.

MIANDAM (RELAX – THE TOWN SAYS):

The chilly night wouldn’t let us waste it. We got up to play cards (after watching some TV, that usually filled the times that I am not referring to in my narration) accompanied by sheesha and tea. The temperature, the hotel, the game, the environment and the waiter playing cards with us all created a feeling so uncanny that I felt like living another life having no memories whatsoever of my Karachi routine. Researchers and believers of reincarnation are welcome to contact me. The rest of the time we spent in arguing on the pronunciation of ‘Miandam’ (No results declared).

KALAM (A COMPLETE VALLEY):

Enroute Kalam , we visited a trout hatchery. Nothing much to tell except that they were uncountable and in all sizes and …stank. I wonder how much I could make if I sold French perfumes to those fishes (Reading your mind… Yes a person can get crazier).

Kalam is a beautiful valley, there a few hotels and a bazaar that is mostly tourist-oriented, all alongside River Kalam. We wandered around a bit after putting our ‘luggage’ in a hotel. When we came back to the hotel, we decided (unconsciously) to do something that we usually do in Karachi, so Wajahat and Ammar went to sleep while I and Yasir went out to play snooker. We benefited more eventually since the market was buzzing with people in the evening. We enjoyed, came back and went to sleep, skipping dinner (unintentionally).

Hunger awakened us early… around 3 am. To spend the time we took to our regular pastime, cards and sheesha. As the morning grew near, we decided to climb a small but steep mountain… wait that doesn’t sound right. To be more accurate, Ammar decided (or maybe he too did not decide and just did it) to go for it while we followed out of curiosity… ok ok … we followed to hide our cowardice. Yasir didn’t even bother to do that. He preferred looking at the scenery and people through his binoculars.

GLACIER (THE SEVEN DWARFS LET US IN TO MEET HER):

We were off to see the glacier after breakfast. But would Ammar just let us see it? Nope, he was halfway when we started thinking about climbing. My three friends made it to the top while I made a seat (of carefully assembled stones) about three-fourth of the way.. ok ok .. halfway. But its real hard to even walk on ice with normal sandals (Reading your mind… Yeah right, good excuse). We made a gun out of the ice and took pictures holding a big ice block over the head, symbolically representing man’s attraction towards violence and power, we did that unintentionally which perhaps why it came out to be pretty accurate. The glacier experience was overall very fine, again the ‘abundance’ of ice being the key factor and not just its existence.

On our way back to Swat, Wajahat and Yasir found that they had missed a few shops in the valley and stopped by them to pay their regular 15 minute (unfruitful) homage.

PINDI AGAIN (IT WAS CALLING US…):

The trip back to Pindi was not comfortable and neither clean. Imagine the face of a cartoon when a bomb blows up in his face, well we didn’t look like that… but were pretty close. The curse was on us as soon as we entered the city. Two of us got their stomachs upset while the other two stuck with upset of their minds. The place to stay had unspecifiable problems that eventually kept us awake almost till morning (the purpose of not specifying is that you imagine a positive reason). When I finally got to wash my face in the morning, it was like a glimpse of heaven (see my previous reference to Einstein’s theory). Ammar went to his Auntie in Islamabad while we started off for Murree.

MURREE (NOTHING DIFFERENT YET POPULAR):

Murree adds a couple more direction to one’s normal perception. In Murree, you are either going up or down… left and right aren’t that significant. The Mall Road proved to be a dreamland for Wajahat and Yasir as there is an endless line of shops on both sides. This time they had to cut down on the 15 minute routine but they tried their best not to leave any shop unvisited. We had ice cream again and again almost as if it were made of ‘holy’ milk. We had an extravagant lunch and a humble dinner (what do you expect us to eat after having lost half our money on lunch… stupid Biryani).

Although a couple of churches stand tall among the shops of Mall Road, they weren’t high enough in hospitality to grant us permission to enter. Murree is good for your calves (as in body part) but bad for your wallet. I enjoyed every moment (except the part when my friends took both the blankets and left me bed less and blanket less… but its not a nice thing to mention that, right?

The events on the way back to Lahore were unanticipated. For some reasons, the three of us were the only passengers in a 52-seater Coaster. We celebrated the abundance of space till we reached Pindi and then (as previous Pindi encounters had affected us) the space became our own enemy. The bus was taken to a Pindi ‘Lari Adda’ because Jehanzeb, the owner of the bus needed passengers for Lahore so that he could make up for the loss. After a small argument, the bus ‘made’ to go to Lahore through the ‘Motor Way’ (imagine the power of three).

LAHORE (OSTENTATIOUS.. MORE THAN ORIGINAL):

We arrived at Lahore in the evening, said farewell to (who was now) Wajahat’s friend Jehanzeb (proof available in pictures). We found a hotel in front of ‘Daata Darbar’ and left immediately to meet our good friend Sohaib. In his goodness, he took us to National Bank Park, a place where you can skate, smoke, have sheesha, play snooker and golf and have quality food if you are rich. Otherwise, you can spend a little money and watch rich people do those things. We had dinner in a so called restaurant in the park whose waiter had all sorts of problems with my opinions about his place, he asked for it (by giving me an opinion card to fill). Sheesha was on Sohaib (payment as well as itself).

We visited the Daata Darbar then and saw and heard all kinds of praises and homage paid to the saint (disagreements aside). What surprised me most was the number of people sleeping inside the premises, it looked as if they had just fallen and gone to sleep, resembling my imagination of ‘Qayamat’. We also sat by a ‘Baba’ who was giving lectures and solving problems of people as they came and kissed his hands. I wonder (yeah, I know you’re tired of my wondering) if any saint acted like that.

Next day we went to the Lahore Fort. Again, it was the ‘abundance’ of the architecture and the enormity of the buildings that fascinated me. The ‘Deewan e Aam’, ‘Sheesh Mahal’, ‘Khwab Gah’ etc. led me to a thought that the vastness of a person’s mind and the place where he lives are inversely related. All in all, it took us more than an hour and many bottles of water to explore the fort.

Food street was our next target. Nothing much to described except the dimensions of the glass of lassi we had. It even seemed to have the fourth dimension of time because it just wouldn’t finish, either that or the glass had secret compartments filled with more lassi !
(Reading your mind… Can a person get any stupider?).

Although Wajahat wanted to go to sleep (duhh… didn’t need to mention that), we voted in majority for the zoo. The zoo was incredible, the animals were well fed and their habitat was maintained, but there still seemed to be a hint of sadness in the eye of every animal, perhaps because freedom has no replacement. The hippo and rhino were much bigger than we expected, I guess because all they did was eat and sleep. I’m sure they would gain a few more pounds if a TV is installed in their habitat. The tigers and monkeys were worth a sight too although they were indifferent to the constant staring of people… (wow.. a thought just struck me... poor girls).

We made a short stop at ‘Fortress’ which is a shopping street with a few eating places and well established boutiques. I was relieved to find most the shops close or else Wajahat and Yasir would have made it their Las Vegas and would have lost whatever money was left.

HOME SWEET HOME (NO IT’S NOT MADE OF CHOCOLATE):

Saying adieu to Sohaib and meeting Ammar at the hotel were the last things we did before getting on our train for home. This time the train ride was different, we were experienced and knew exactly what to do, so we slept like logs and when I couldn’t sleep I counted the things my friends had bought instead of sheep. We were back home in 9 days carrying with us much more than we took… no no I meant memories this time.

Filtered knowledge

Whenever I connect to the 'Divine Source' (call it God or whatever you want), the messages are very quick and they come in the form of 'feeling'... I have to stop for a moment and change that feeling into words so that I might remember it afterwards. Now the process of changing the message from feeling to words uses my writing and vocabulary skills, which means that even if the feeling carried the message without distortion... this process would filter it.. making the knowledge relative. The ratio of relative to absolute knowledge received depends on my filter.

New Year's Resolutions

2005 - YEAR OF ACHIEVEMENT AND DEVELOPMENT

RESOLUTIONS

1. I shall attend to my mental disorders and remove the long term ones.
2. I shall pay attention to studies and improve my pratical knowledge in the engineering field.
3. I will keep the good work going on my comic strip and pay more attention to my book.
4. I will apply the knowledge I have gained in the last year to myself and others.
5. I shall be in contact with God more than last year.

PLANS

1. I shall not fall in love.
2. I should get in good shape and keep my health.
3. I will focus more on learning from the experiences I've already had than new experiences.

Amendments may be made as the year moves on.